星期六 [ 2010-1-30 10:06:05 | watches2009 ]   Geordie sperm spells disaster Byline: nick peet BEST story this week came from a group of boffins up in Newcastle. No really, Newcastle. A team of scientists on Tyneside have reportedly created artificial sperm which, long-term, could be the answer for all infertile men. Another suggestion is that it could result in the abolition of all men from the planet with women left on this spinning rock alone. Great, some of you girls may be thinking. But just imagine a planet without men. Sure it would smell a Porcelain Bracelet whole lot sweeter and Match Of The Day would be replaced by Gossip Girl or The Hills, but that''s about it. Chocolate, for a start would become a religion, shoes an international currency and expensive handbags would actually have to carry contents like phones, lipsticks and purses. Without men the world would turn into one huge spinning dry cleaners with piles of washing and rogue high-heeled shoes strewn on street corners and hung up inside bus shelters. All traffic would have to flow in one continuous direction to avoid the need for reversing while there would be no need for any dress under a size 10 and lady-shaves and all that make-up would be rendered useless. Earth''s population would simply become a heaving flow of hairy, overweight matrons. And that's fact. But that''s not the only possibility worth considering should the boys from the Tyne be right for once (let's face it, they ain't got a clue about football). The Toon scientists (and I still can''t read that back without giggling - just picture them; shirts off, bellies out, swigging brown ale over Bunsen burners) say they have isolated stem cells with XY chromosomes and somehow managed to shake together a man''s semen in a kind of real life Jurassic Park nightmare. Yet we all know what happened on that occasion, when Hollywood's royalty attempted to play God. Richard Attenborough''s meddling ended up with the death of a bus load of extras and almost cost Jeff Goldblum his life. Twice! In the movie they mix prehistoric dino DNA with that of a frog to make a full chromosome so the obvious question now would be this; using the Geordie boys techniques will today''s man be able to mix his family allowance lubricant with that of somebody or something else. Would a squirt of dolphin turn your child into the next Michael Phelps for instance? Or perhaps a Prada Purse Handags Replica Nick Peet/Stephen Hawking Cosmopolitan would create one devilishly handsome genius physicist? Sorry, I meant slack-jawed, bow-legged, big-eared physicist, naturally. And what if things went wrong? And they would. What if Michael Crichton''s classic novel was proven true and dangerously knocked-together Super Males took over the planet by breeding with themselves and terrorising the public - kind of like the way the British Royal Family have done for generations. I'm sure Simon Cowell and Peter Andre might fancy a little self-mating, but for the rest of us, I don''t think so. The best qualities of most children come from their mothers - that''s another fact! It would be pandemonium with super semen rather than the American military as the route of all our problems. No, probably the only Other articles: http://www.khgd.net/Blog/View/?3949 浏览(274) | 回复(0) |